The following is a transcript of the events that unfolded last night while I was trying to rest my weary head.
It's late, I get up to go to bed, everyone in house is sound asleep.
Dog is IN my bed on MY side ON my pillow.
Scoop, more like hoist since Dog now weighs over thirty pounds, hoisting Dog up and into The Boy's room and lay Dog down on The Boy's bed.
Stay Dog stay.
Dog doesn't stay and beats me back to bed.
Hoist Dog up again and lug back to male childs' bed.
Push Dog down onto bed.
Stay!
No, stay!
Lay down!
Dog gets down.
Pick dog up and over onto bed.
STAY!
shhh!
Back to bed, Dog jumps in right as I pull covers up.
NO! Not on my bed dammit!
Get out!
Push Dog off.
Dog sproings back up.
Dog gets shoved off anyways.
Dog pads down the hallway.
click click click click click patter patter
Silence
Then
squeaka squeaka
squeaka squeak
...
squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka
squeak
squeak
squeak
squeaka
THROW covers back and stomp down hall into living area, chase DOG down for STOOOOPID squeaky ball and gather up remaining squeaky toys, toss into room Dog cannot get into.
Walk back to bed, get knocked down by Dog blitzing from behind.
Push Dog out of way to get into and under covers.
Shove Dog off bed.
Dog pads down hallway.
Whacking tail against the wall the entire way.
WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP
Finds cat
WHOOPAA WHOOPAA WHOOPAA Hissssssss WHACK!
Dog comes back to room and proceeds to gnaw and slurp on a newly discovered rawhide.
Covers flip back and I spring from my bed like a gymnist and snatch rawhide and place on top of dresser.
Under the covers and watching Dog trying to nose rawhide off dresser, gives up and jumps back in bed between myself and husband.
Need a bigger bed.
Dog wiggles and squirms and swarms trying to jockey for the highly coveted prime center section of bed between two warm bodies.
Suddenly an itch must had surfaced cause now there's full body scratching and then she shakes her head with her 36 inch wingspan worth of ears which hit me in the head.
More licking and slurping and then I get nosed and then the Dog gets shoved off by my now fully awake husband.
I feign sleep so as to not be noticed.
Dog gets tossed once more from bed and both adults are comfy once again and then we both hear the unmistakeable sound of the bottom of our bed being ripped apart.
That sound above all else is enough to bring life and vitality to a completely sleep deprived and groggy human male.
Covers FLING backwards and explexetives and puncuation go flying through the air!
Some more cover flipping, grunts and some wocka wocka wocka sounds later and I finally fall blissfully asleep.
Tonight, I am going to be more proactive, I'm not sure what or how but I'm working on it.
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